There'd Be No Distance That Could Hold Us Back
by sweetheart-bitterheart
Summary: Holiday Christmas & New Years Dasey one shot. Derek and Casey had a secret relationship their senior year but broke up before leaving for college. Now it's the holiday season and they're both coming home.


**Author's Note:** This has taken me for what feels like forever to write. I really want it to be done by New Years Eve but I had stuff going on so I couldn't get to it. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this but I hope some people enjoy it. Reviews make me happy.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

* * *

Between the two of them, Casey McDonald, has long decided that sometimes love is not enough. No matter how passionate or desired. No matter what awful circumstances. Sometimes, it was just never meant to be. Although she still wished more than anything it would even if it was unhealthy and irrational.

She knew she had a short fuse, as did he, but that never stopped them before. It had always ignited whatever was between them. He knew before her, of course, that was why he smirked so much around her and why she had suddenly become nervous around him. He just always has to make everything difficult.

Things changed, quickly, and it was too hard to pull back. Secret relationships usually explode on their own, or by somebody finding out. Their relationship was short but intense; it took up most of their senior year of high school. But in the end, they just couldn't hold on to each other.

Derek Venturi was always the one to break people hearts. He just never expected it to be Casey McDonald's.

"You said you wouldn't do this," she quietly reminded him.

"I know and I'm sorry," he said, "But this isn't me. I'm not a relationship guy and I don't know if I ever will be. It's just better if this ends now before something really bad happens."

"Derek…"

"I'm sorry, Casey."

And then it was over.

* * *

"Rachel, I'm back!" Casey called into her dorm room, "And I got those notes for you!" When there was no response, Casey yelled again, "Rachel!" She was juggling too much to look up. Just as she was about to assume that her dorm mate was getting more soup, she heard laughing.

Loud laughing and lots of it.

Then there was coughing. She stopped. Casey already knew that was definitely Rachel. She'd been sick with a cold for four days that now had turned into a sinus infection. But who would be making her laugh like that? She hasn't let anyone into their dorm because she's afraid of getting someone else sick. She even banned her boyfriend, Adam, from entering. He still hung around though, just outside of the dorm, getting extra things that Casey might not be able to. She'd been like their little messenger all week.

"Hey Casey!" Rachel finally responded, sounding happy. "You never told me your stepbrother was so funny."

Casey's mind reeling and her eyes went wide. She almost choked on her saliva she started coughing but she covered her mouth to quiet the sound.

"Oh no, don't tell me I actually got you sick," Rachel said, Casey figured she was probably strained to sit up and see where her friend was. So Casey took a deep breath and braced herself for the worst but upon looking up she saw that it wasn't her worst nightmare come to life but the person least likely to calm her nerves.

"Edwin," Casey breathed. He seemed taller and his voice had dropped just a little more. But he was still the regular old Edwin.

"Hi Casey, I didn't mean to intrude or… scare you," Edwin greeted her, catching onto her anxious expression that was now starting to relax. "Nora wanted me to make sure you were coming home for the break."

"So she sent… a real live messenger meaning… _you_?" She asked as she handed Rachel her notes. Her room mate took them gratefully but still tuned into the conversation.

"Well, since you haven't been taking any of her calls, she wanted to make it personal," he explained, offhandedly, "Plus my friend, Todd, was visiting his brother here so I tagged along." Casey nodded, taking the information in. "Sweet digs you got here, Casey."

She nodded again, staring at her youngest step-brother. "Uh… thanks, Edwin," she said, "I see you've met Rachel."

"Yeah," Edwin and Rachel said at the same time then laughed together in unison but Edwin was the only one blushing. Casey chuckled also but it was mostly forced. _When he Edwin become some sort of lady-killer? Or when did he start thinking he was one?_

"So are you coming or what? And when's your last day?" Edwin asked, "These are Nora's questions, not mine. Just to clarify."

Casey smiled, not forced now, "Yes, I'll be coming home. My last final is on Friday so I'll probably drive up that night." Edwin nodded and glanced at Rachel again, "Tell my mom I'll call her."

Her stepbrother nodded again and went to the leave the small dorm room with Casey following him. "Bye Rachel!" He yelled and she yelled back a goodbye. Casey opened the door and waited. "So I guess I'll see ya, Casey." And he turned to go but Casey spoke again.

"Hey, he's gonna be there, right?" She asked, playing with her fingers self-consciously.

"Yes," Edwin replied automatically.

"Oh, okay. Great."

"Casey-"

"No, no. I mean, it's Christmas and it is his house too so-"

"Casey-"

"-It makes total sense-"

"Casey!" He nearly shouted.

"Yes, Edwin?" She looked taken aback.

"Derek will be there but it's no big deal. It's just like it always has been. So please, do not make this awkward for the family and by the family, I mean me and Lizzie." Casey opened her mouth to speak but Edwin continued, "Because you two older siblings sure know how to make us younger ones quite miserable and awkward."

Casey hadn't even heard Rachel get up to get a glass of juice so when she commented with a "Wow" she jumped a little. Edwin laughed and she glared at him. "You did not just laugh at me." She accused pointedly.

"Not at you. Well, yeah, a little at you but I wouldn't-"

"Make fun of me? Please, Edwin. But you know-" Casey started but he cut her off again.

"Okay, I'll just see you Friday. Bye Casey, bye Rachel." Edwin dashed off and she just shut the door, sighing. _Right, Friday._

"I think I've decided that Adam can come in today," Rachel declared from her bed as Casey was researching stuff for her next exam. "I mean, I'm not really that sick anymore and what's the worst that could happen? He gets sick and you know he'll probably be fine." Rachel rambled a lot which was funny and comforting because Casey did too. They had similar tastes and similar attitudes and that's what made such good dorm mates and eventually friends.

"Are you sure?" Casey asked, walking towards the door, "Because I'll go get him now if it's what you want." Rachel nodded excitedly. "Okay, then." Casey opened the door and there was Adam, like clockwork, "Hi Adam. You can actually come in today."

"Really?" He asked voraciously and stood up. Casey nodded, opening the door wider to let him in.

"Adam!" Rachel said and he walked over to her bed. He kissed her on the cheek and sat down next to her. They got closer and it looked like they were, more or less, cuddling. Casey rolled her eyes and Rachel saw. "So, Casey, you excited to be going home for the holidays?" She asked, not wanting to exclude her friend just because her boyfriend was there.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said offhandedly. Rachel stared at her, waiting for more of a reply. "I am, really I am. It's just seeing the poor excuse of a person, let alone stepbrother, that I'm reluctant about."

"You're not talking about Edwin, are you?" Rachel asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course not. Edwin's fine. The rest of my entire family is fine. It's just… _Derek_… that is going to make my holiday horrible." Casey explained, grabbing a notebook and flipping through it until she found the page she wanted. "He always does. Even if it's not a holiday, it's like a routine he can't get rid of." Rachel and Adam nodded as Casey rambled on about her stepbrother. But they didn't know how anxious she really was about seeing him again.

The last time they had seen each other was when he had abruptly broken up with her. During their senior year, they had slowly come to realize their feelings. They started seeing each other secretly for over six months and then he just decides he wanted to ends things. They hadn't talked since and Casey used to think she was fine with that.

Guess not.

* * *

_Friday came too soon_, Casey thought as she took one last longing look at her dorm room before heading back home. Rachel was leaving too so they both walked out to Casey's car together. Her dad bought it as a guilt gift after a _very important_ case kept him from attending her graduation. It was a cute, silver Audi that she really did appreciate. Rachel carried Casey's smallest bag while her room mate lugged the other two around. There was ice everywhere and that was making Casey nervous, she was afraid of falling. She hated driving during the winter.

Once at Casey's car, Rachel threw her bag in the backseat as did Casey. They hugged tightly but Rachel started coughing so they separated. She was still a little sick and Casey gave her a pitiful look. "Call me if there's a crisis!" Rachel said as she started walking back into the dorms. Casey nodded and hesitantly got in her car.

"This is going to be so wonderful," she said to herself as she started the engine.

Casey was surprised at the greeting she got once she was home. Hugs from everyone and baked goods waiting in the kitchen. It was strangely nice. George told her Derek wasn't there yet and might be home the next night. She inwardly let out a sigh of relief but Edwin and Lizzie caught her silent reprieve. She sent them a look and they both rolled their eyes in unison which Casey found odd and amusing. They were so in sync with each other.

It was December 23rd so Christmas was well underway. All the decorations were up and the tree was perfectly ornamented and lighted. Casey felt a little guilty for not being there to help out but she couldn't say she wasn't pleased that it was already done. She still felt uneasy about Derek and he wasn't even there yet. That didn't seem to stop the hairs on the back of her neck rising at every noise thinking it was him.

After everyone went to bed and it was almost midnight, Casey still stayed downstairs in the living room feigning homesickness and insomnia as a reason for wanting some alone in her home when really that was only part of it. She wanted to see if Derek would show up early. Even though she highly doubted it that didn't stop her from doing it anyway.

She was watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ and trying not to cry when she heard a car on the road. She shook the fleece blanket off her body and sat up straight. She heard the car get turned off and slow footsteps heading towards the front door. When it opened, it was like everything suddenly stopped. There was only Casey and Derek in that moment and something ached in them both.

"Hey," Derek said quietly, clearly surprised to see his stepsister slash ex-girlfriend waiting up for him. They both looked almost the exact same to each other when in reality they had changed, maybe just not on the outside. He was carrying lots of things; his own bags and presents. He dropped them to the floor and shut the door with his right foot.

"Hi," Casey squeaked and plastered a small smile on her face.

"Everyone asleep?" He asked and she nodded, looking back at the TV. "Good. What a perfect homecoming."

"Weren't you just here two weeks ago?" Casey inquired, brow furrowed in confusion. She looked at him again and he just stared at her. "George mentioned it," she added.

"Yeah, but still…" he looked at the still lit up Christmas tree, "It's Christmas." He tried a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. Casey glanced at the tree too and she wanted to say something else but nothing seemed nice enough so she just stayed quiet.

The sound of "Auld Lange Syne" broke them of their reverie. They both turned to the TV screen as James Stewart and the rest of the cast of _It's a Wonderful Life_ sang. Casey turned it off and stood up (well, more like, _jumped_ up) and folded her blanket before placing it back on the couch.

"So um… I guess…" Casey stared at Derek, "Goodnight." She brushed past him and started to walk up stairs but his voice stopped her.

"So, no Merry Christmas from the princess," Derek remarked and she knew he was only saying that to get a reaction.

Casey turned around from the middle of the steps and kept a stoic expression. "Merry Christmas, Derek," she told him coldly. She turned away from him but couldn't stop herself from mumbling, "You're such a disease." She continued up the stairs and to her bedroom where she was safe and not even arrogant, selfish, rude, hot, flirtatious, captivating, sweet-on-their-own-time guys like Derek couldn't get under her skin.

He still did.

_Asshat_, was Casey's last thought before she fell asleep.

Christmas Eve was hectic. The Venturi-McDonalds may have seemed like had everything done for the holiday when really there was a lot to still do. George and Edwin still had shopping to do so they were in and out all day getting last-minute things. Derek and Marti went with them sometimes, you know to get pleasure out of their misery and "help out."

Casey and Nora baked some more and helped Lizzie with some of her leftover wrapping. But by 8:17 p.m. everything was calm in the house and everyone was stuffed. They were all relaxing the living room, watching _A Christmas Story_ and enjoying the Christmas cheer. Marti was starting to nod off on Derek's shoulder and Lizzie and Edwin were sitting pretty close together but no one noticed or they just decided not to say anything. George and Nora were just watching the movie but Casey was completely somewhere else in her head. She was trying not to stare at Derek; they had either avoided each other all day or insulted each other when in the same vicinity.

One by one everyone slowly left until it was only Derek, Marti and Casey. But Derek got up to put his little sister to bed while Casey forced herself to focus all her attention on Ralphie and his obsessive want for a BB gun. She immersed herself so much into that she didn't even notice Derek come back downstairs. She jumped when he sat down next to her on the couch. They were two pillows apart but neither made a move to change that.

"I really like this movie," Casey commented, "How about you?" She turned to Derek.

"Are we really going to have this conversation, Case? This is like talking about the weather or how your classes are going. It's torture." Derek said sharply but he smirked at the end of his statement.

"Do you want to talk about those things instead?" She countered, glaring now.

"No. Didn't you just hear me say that was torture?" He reminded her angrily.

"Would you rather us fight then, Derek?" She asked, truly wanting to know which he preferred. Forced pleasantries or full-on fighting.

"Honestly, it's better than this," he told her.

"Well, _honestly_, Der, I don't feel like fighting with you at the moment. Sorry to disappoint." She said as she stood up, getting angry and not knowing what to do with herself. She walked into the kitchen just to get away from him but he followed her anyway.

"Why are you being like this?" He asked.

"Because you're an asshat!" She told him, raising her voice a little.

"Asshat?" Derek was trying not to smirk but failing.

"My dorm mate calls people that when they're being annoying jackasses which you most definitely are right now," Casey explained, folding her arms across her chest.

"So I'm an asshat and you're a bitch?" He inquired, wanting clarification and a bigger rise out of her.

"Fuck you," She snapped at him, dropping her arms but still not knowing what to do with them just put them back in the same position.

"Oh, so that's what they teach you at U of T," he said, sarcasm dripping over every word.

"So how's British Columbia? Have you seen Sally yet? Did you two get to talking and bonding?" She fired back, leaning over the counter between them. He leaned in too, wanting to show her how much this didn't bother him even when it did. He hadn't seen or talked to Sally in a long time and he preferred to keep it that way. There was one girl on his brain and it sure as hell wasn't the older blonde.

"Dammit Casey!" He slammed his fist on the counter and glared at her. She pulled back but still kept her gaze on him. "Dammit Casey…" he mumbled, pulling back also and turning away, "I'm sorry…"

"No, you're not," she practically spat at him.

"How do you know?" He looked at her again.

"I guess I don't but… you're never sorry," she glanced around the room then back at him, "Derek Venturi does whatever he wants whenever he wants without thinking of what that will do to other people." She looked away again and was trying desperately to blink back the cruel tears that had formed in her eyes. "It's just who you are."

"Is that what you really think of me, Case?" He asked, a small piece of insecurity showing.

"I used to… then it all changed but now… I don't even know anymore…" she sighed, voice shaking, "You're still an asshat."

"You're still a bitch."

"Lovely," she tried to sound sarcastic but it only came out as hollow.

It was all silent throughout the house, not even George's or Edwin's snoring could be heard. Derek walked all the way around the center counter and in front of Casey. She wouldn't look at him, only a tile on the floor which was keeping her very occupied.

"I know I screwed up big time," he said, trying to catch her gaze but she still avoided it.

"I don't think being yourself counts as screwing up," she told him and finally looked in his eyes. They held self-consciousness, longing and something else Casey couldn't decode.

"Are you okay?" He asked, just wanting to grab her and claim her as his again.

It took Casey a moment to reply, "Aside from being around you, yes." She nudged Derek as she walked past him. She was too tired to deal with this and it was Christmas Eve. As she tiptoed up the stairs she swallowed the lump in her throat and ignored her blurred vision. A good night's rest would do her good.

Derek stayed downstairs for a little longer, unsure he had made any progress on the Casey situation. Gradually, he dragged himself up stairs to bed to fitful night of sleep.

Christmas morning was like any another Christmas morning. Presents were exchanged and there were lots of talking and lots of laughing. It was really _nice_. Derek and Casey avoided each other like the plague; not even glancing each other's way, sitting on opposite sides of the room. But they both got the other a present and were expected to give and receive them in front of the rest of the family. Neither of them were too pleased about that.

Derek's present was wrapped in shiny purple paper and he violently ripped it open; it wasn't because he was excited for a present but because he wanted to get it over with. Once the wrapping paper was off, Derek reluctantly popped open the white box his gift was in. _It must be clothes_, he thought sourly and he was right. Casey had given him a brown t-shirt and in orange it read; 'I'm kind of a big deal.' He smirked as he held it up to show everyone.

"I saw it and immediately thought of you," Casey explained, "Much to my displeasure." Derek rolled his eyes and threw her present in her direction. She caught it and started to open it very slowly, more so antagonize him than because she hated making a mess of things. When the green and white wrapping paper with snowmen on it (which Casey secretly found cute especially) was thrown away, she regarded the gift with some surprise.

Derek got her a knitted scarf, hat and mittens set; they were a pleasant lavender color and looked very authentic like he knew someone personally that could knit. Casey instantly felt guilty for her own gift. She wondered if he had gotten this for her as some sort of peace offering, and when she really thought about it he probably had. Everyone oohed and awed at the present and Derek gave Casey a very self-satisfied smile as her face grew hot and red.

"Thank you," she mumbled, barely glancing at him.

"No problem," he leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head, "My dorm mate's sister made them and it only cost half-price." He said this all very casually, like it was no big deal whilst Casey was having a mental breakdown in her mind.

"It's very thoughtful, Derek," Nora told him, giving her eldest daughter a strange look.

"Well, I think so," he added and everyone but he and Casey rolled their eyes.

Casey kept mostly quiet for the rest of the night while the rest of the family just hung around the house, enjoying their presents. Derek and Edwin were trying to show George and Nora how to play Rock Band but it wasn't working out well.

Deciding she felt tired, Casey started to head upstairs and try to sleep, but Lizzie caught her arm and dragged her into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" She asked her older sister.

"Nothing," Casey shrugged and Lizzie gave her a look. "Seriously, Liz, nothing is wrong."

"I don't believe you," she stated simply.

"I can tell," the older brunette responded.

"Casey," Lizzie sighed, "Does it have to do with Derek?" Her sister opened then closed her mouth twice before firmly closing it again. "Casey!" Lizzie said, getting annoyed.

"Alright! Fine!" She snapped and Lizzie smirked, "It **does** have to do with Derek. When doesn't it have to do with Derek?"

"True," Lizzie nodded and had to prompt Casey to continue, "Go on, sis."

"Well, we… me and Derek… sort of had a… _thing_ our senior year…" She took a deep breath, "And it ended badly. He… he just decided it over, just like that. Like it didn't even matter to him. Without even talking to me first which is so like him! Ugh!" She took another deep breath, "We got into an argument last night, Liz. We were really mean. And then he just goes and gets me a really nice gift and I get him crap. Sometimes I think I really, truly hate him."

Lizzie guffawed, "No, you don't. You love him; always have, always will, Casey. Edwin and I have been betting over your eventual coupling for years." At Casey's open mouth expression, "Don't look so shocked."

"I can't believe you two."

"Oh, come on. You love Derek. And he's still obviously smitten with you. So when do you think you'll get back together? Before or after New Year's Eve?"

"Lizzie!"

"What? I have 60 bucks riding on this!"

The two sisters stared at each other for a minute before the older one sighed.

"I don't love Derek and I don't think I ever did or will," Casey said quietly and she sounded completely defeated. She left the kitchen and hurried up the stairs to her bedroom. Lizzie watched her go then turned to re-enter the living room but she caught Derek eavesdropping.

"Ohhh… hey, Derek," she sputtered out awkwardly and he only stared at her. "I'm sorry. Casey will come around."

"Whatever," he said with a disinterested tone.

"Jeez, you both are horrible! You are the epitome of denial and Casey is the embodiment of oblivious. How the two of you live with yourselves? I don't know," she shook her head in obvious frustration. "You love her. She loves you. Go make it right."

"It's not that simple, Lizzie," he said, slowly starting to get aggravated. Casey used to try to tell him what to do all the time, he didn't need from the other McDonald sister doing it too. He wanted this conversation done and over with.

"Then make it simple," she told him and he opened his mouth to protest but she held up a hand to silence him; he begrudgingly obliged. "I'm going to bed but you better figure this out for your own sanity as well as the rest of us, especially Casey." She scurried off, leaving Derek slightly dumbfounded.

* * *

Almost a week went by and still Derek and Casey did not say one word to each other. When New Year's Eve came around, Lizzie and Edwin were going to a friend's house for the event while Abby was taking Marti and Nora and George were going to be at the Davis' for a party. Emily had gone to Newfoundland to visit Sheldon over the holidays. So it would just be Derek and Casey at the house alone.

It was nearing midnight and Casey was punctually sitting on the couch getting ready to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Derek had spent most of the night in his room doing whatever it was he did alone. Casey decided she didn't care. Even when she had ordered Chinese food and it arrived, Derek merely ran down stairs, grabbed what he wanted then went back up there. Casey still decided she **did not** care.

"This year has been such a drag. The next one better be great," Casey said to herself.

"You talk to yourself now," a voice said from behind her. She jumped and turned to see the so-called bane of her existence.

"And you eavesdrop," she stated.

"Never stopped," Derek replied and sat down in his chair as Casey gave him a strange look.

"What are you doing?" She asked, eyes narrowing.

"What does look like I'm doing? Stopping the Cuban Missile Crisis? I'm sitting down in my chair," he said saucily.

"Whatever, jackass," she said, rolling her eyes, and turned back to the TV.

"I thought it was asshat," he antagonized.

"That too," she didn't even bother to look at him.

"Priss."

"Pig."

"Bitch."

"Manwhore."

"Prude."

"God, do you ever come up with anything new?" She shouted, finally looking at him.

"Do you?" He countered.

They stared at each other, glaring and both about ready to break. Derek leaned in and Casey recoiled, dropping her gaze.

"Derek," she said. It was 11:48 p.m. and everyone was screaming and laughing on the TV screen.

"Casey," he said back.

"Why did you break up with me? I thought things were fine…" she started and looked down, "I thought that I could maybe love you or something…" She paused and looked back up, "So why…?"

It took Derek a moment to reply, "You wanted - no, that's not right - you expected me to be this Prince Charming Man once we got together. And I knew I couldn't be and you seemed to want me only like that. I don't just go changing for anybody, not even you, Casey, no matter much I wanted you, I didn't know if I could ever really change."

"And now?" She prompted.

"I still don't know," he said and glanced back at the screen. It was 11:52 now.

"I miss you all the time," she told him, "And I hate myself for it because I should hate _you_, not pine for you."

"I get what you're saying," he agreed.

It was 11:53.

"This is so complicated."

"It doesn't have to be."

"Oh, Derek…"

11:54.

"I mean it, Case."

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"We'll work it out."

11:55.

"When did you become so optimistic?"

"I don't know. It comes with age."

She laughed, "You sound so convinced."

"I am."

11:56.

"Just so you know, I didn't want you to be a Prince Charming Man or whatever. I just wanted you, Derek."

"Good to know," he nodded solemnly.

"I really did," she said, reaching out to him and forcing him to look at her by grabbing his face. "I didn't even think that you might change for me. I wanted the Derek I had to deal with ever since our parents got married. I wanted you with all your self-assured, overconfident-ness and all your sarcastic remarks."

"I wish I'd known that then," he sighed.

11:57.

"Me too," she dropped her hands and he grabbed them back, holding on tight.

"After everything…"

"All the time we wasted…" She chuckled and he slowly joined in.

11:58.

"So what do we do now?" She asked.

"Beats the hell outta me," he said and she just smiled at his honesty.

Slowly, she leaned in and gave him a very light, chaste kiss that left him a little dazed. "It's not midnight yet. Isn't it tradition to kiss someone at exactly midnight?"

"Screw tradition. I want you now, Derek," she told him and they both laughed, "Plus, there's only, like, one minute left anyway."

He nodded in agreement.

11:59.

"You know," he paused, "I might love you… or something…"

"How about that?" She said, smiling wide and leaning in again. This kiss held more passion and pent up frustration.

Casey pulled Derek onto the couch with her. He was pressed on top of her and she moved to fit right underneath him. They practically fused together and happily so.

"Did you know Lizzie and Edwin had a bet going about when we'd come to our senses and get back together?" Derek asked, pulling away a little. He was smiling, feeling truly happy in the longest time.

All Casey could do was laugh and give him a kiss. She pulled back to really answer him, "Yes, I did." She kissed him again, "And I think Lizzie won." She kissed him harder this time.

12:00.

"Happy new year, asshat."

"Happy new year, Space Case."


End file.
